Sleeping Pill
I no longer find solace in my slumber
For even in the wee hours of the night
Memories of you haunt me
A highly defined vision
Of your face appears before me
I get a glimpse of the lashes that I so love
That veils your deep brown eyes
-my only access to your fragile soul
Those lips that I have yet to taste
And the stubbles on your chin that the blade has spared
Your smile then comes into view
Which makes the sides of your eyes crinkle
Your button of a nose twitches
And the sole dimple on your right cheek appears
I see all of these in short,fragmented clips
Flashing in slow motion
Lingering,almost teasing
But the pace is still far too quick
To a heart that yearns for eternity
Because there's always not enough time
With matters that concern you
These images from my subconscious
Awakens my spirit
And prompts my senses to operate
In a wild demeanor
I suddenly get a whiff of your perfume
-an intoxicating mixture of morning dew,mint, and mahogany;
A smell that's distinctly yours
I could be blindfolded and I would still know it's you
Then I hear your voice
That deep,husky sound
So manly yet so gentle
So ardent and alluring
You could not sing,that I can attest to
But the butterflies in my stomach flutter to every sound you make
Like how ballerinas dance to a symphony
Warmth slowly creeps through my skin
As your arms come in contact with mine
Then I raise my hand to touch your face
And my inner goddess starts doing cartwheels
As I trace your jawline
And leave my prints on your neck
I see you
I smell you
I feel you
And yet I still want more
I want you closer
I want you warmer
I want you livelier
I want you to be here
And so I force myself to dig into my box of memories
To look for more remnants of you
But as I plunge my head in the river of my past
Your vision starts to vanish
Your smell is dragged away by the non-existent wind
Your warmth is replaced by the cold and bitter reality that I'm alone
That's when it hits me
That everything about you is temporary
So I bargain
I bargain with God
I bargain with the Devil
I bargain with Time and Destiny
To let me live in my memories of you a little bit longer
In exchange, I would let them take my soul
Because what use is a soul
When the fire that feeds it
Has already been put out?
The begging suddenly halts
And an eerie silence fills my ears
I open my eyes and I am blinded by darkness
'I am awake' , I tell myself
And those three words summon the demons inside my head
They bring out their weapons
And cut me open
Then they guide me to a mirror
To show me the hole
That big black hole that has appeared
And has been growing
The minute you left
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